#johnlock incorrect

[baker-street-boys]

Teen Rosie: Can you pass the butter, John?

John: Did you just call me John? I'm your father, that is disrespectful-

Teen Rosie: Fine. John Hamish Watson of the Northumberland Fusiliers, veteran of Kandahar, Helmand, and Bart's bloody Hospital will you please pass the butter.

John: (glaring) I can see you laughing over there Sherlock.

[whispersfrom221b]

Rosie: Daddy, I brought Maya with me. Is that okay? She's new in my class and I told her you wouldn't mind.

John: *chuckles* You're lucky Mrs H made enough food to feed an army, Honey. Hello Maya, nice to me you.

Maya: Nice to meet you, Mr Watson. Rosie told me a lot about you.

John: I hope only good things and not how annoying or embarrassing I am. Stop rolling your eyes, Rosamund. And Maya, you can call me John if you like. *shouts* Sherlock, lunch is ready. And wear some clothes, Rosie brought a visitor.

Maya: I can't wait to meet your famous Papa, Rosie.

John: Papa?

Rosie: Oh, I forgot. Maya, you can't call him my Papa here. Daddy and Sherlock are still pretending they're just "good friends".

John: Preten—?

Maya: Didn't you say they were dating for three years?

Rosie: Nearly four, but they're still trying to figure out how to tell me. It's quite funny to watch them pretending. So please, don't let them know I know.

John: You know I can hear you? I'm literally next to you.

Rosie: I know.

John: Since how long did you know?

Rosie: About from the beginning. But Uncle Myc said I should wait until you tell me and enjoy the show in the meantime. He said it'd be fun and you can always trust Uncle Myc to know the fun thing. You'll like him, Maya. Uncle Myc is the best.

Sherlock: Hello Bumblebee. Hello friend of Bumblebee, I'm Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, Rosie's godfather and John's good friend.

John: Sherlock, we can stop pretending. She knows.

Sherlock: She… oh.

[sherlock-and-co-incorrect-quotes]

Sherlock: Watson, what does IDK, ILY and TTYL mean?

John, not looking up from filling Archie's food bowl: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later

Sherlock: Alright, I love you too. I'll ask Mrs Hudson

John: Wait- Sherlock, no-

[antisocial-cheesepuff]

John: Sherlock, I think we have a problem

Sherlock: What, the fire?

John: No, the—wait, what fire?

Sherlock: Forget about it, this sounds more interesting

[buckingham-ashtray]

to me one of the funniest things in asip is definitely when sherlock brought the man previously from his flat to the crime scene without even introducing him except for emphasizing "he's with me" and gavin lestrade was trying to decide whether a) if sherlock has really gone round the bend and decided to take a hostage to keep as a pet and he should save this man from sherlock or b) if this man is even more of a dangerous sociopathic nutter than sherlock and he should lock him up and save london from this man

[secondlastpsycho]

established relationship????? babe i wanted to establish that relationship with you

[heradion]

In most ships, the most common trope in fanfics is that one of them thinks 'I don't deserve you, you deserve better, i'm too broken' while the other one is like ' i've loved you for years , u have to be blind dumbass'

[strangesthirdeye]

Sherlock:*opens the body bag*

John: *shocked because he saw Y/n in a body bag with airpods in her ears*

also John: uhm.. Sherlock, shouldn't the clothes or items related to the corpse be separated?

Sherlock: *groan in frust* Y/n! How many times have I told you not to sleep in a body bag!

Y/n: *gets up and yawns while stretching her hands and cracking her spine* nice bed ever

John:...

[trixiethenerd42]

John: *whispering* He's wearing that damn purple shirt

Sherlock: What did you say?

John: It's a nice day, isn't it?

[221bstrange]

John, taking a personality quiz: What's a word that would describe m- Sherlock: Short. John: That's not one of- Sherlock: Fine, tiny. John: No that's not how it wo- Sherlock: Small? Portable? Petite? Miniscule?

[iamreallysherlocked]

John: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Sherlock: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

John: ...

John: Fuck you.

[baker-street-boys]

you can spot a bbc fan when they call him “john” and not “watson”

[whispersfrom221b]

Sherlock: Hrmpf…

John: What's wrong?

Sherlock: Nothing.

John: You sound like my mum. Spill.

Sherlock: You're dating Molly.

John: She just asked me—

Sherlock: She asked you and now you're dating her.

John: I'm not—

Sherlock: If I'd have known that all it needs is to ask you, I'd have done that.

John: Are you saying you'd want to date me?

Sherlock: Obviously.

John: How is it obvious?

Sherlock: I haven't destroyed any of your jumpers in months. And I ask before I use your laptop. Occasionally.

John: Ah, yes. The universal signs of attraction.

Sherlock: Indeed.

John: Listen, Sherlock. Molly asked me if I'd accompany her to her sister's wedding this weekend. That's all.

Sherlock: This means you wouldn't date me if I asked?

John: I didn't say that.

Sherlock: So you'd date me.

John: I would. If you ask me.

[sherlock-holmes-through-the-ages]

Sherlock Holmes: *About to do something incredibly stupid* John Watson: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

[c0smic-coral]

Because y’all liked my first one so much…

Greg: Is that a hickey?

Sherlock: What? No! It’s a mosquito bite!

John: Morning, Greg!

Greg: Morning, mosquito.

Edit: ok over 100 notes?? Thank you. Just a reminder I have a Johnlock fic here. Shame on me for advertising.

[vodkabutgay]

[221B Baker Street apartment]

Mrs Hudson: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million?

Sherlock, to John: You can stab me, and then we can buy a big-ass place in Yorkshire.

John: You can stab me too, then we will have 20 million in total.

Mrs Hudson: Is 20 million enough though?

Sherlock: Then we will find other people to stab.

Lestrade: I'm lowkey scared of this conversation.